1 Week Old

After being released from the hospital, I thought that we could go home and begin our happy lives together. However, Gavin was very lethargic and didn't want to eat at all. He was so limp and I was so worried and scared. So the next day, on Tuesday, I had scheduled an appointment with a lactation specialist at Loving Support. My mom went with me and the lactation consultant was concerned about Gavin's lethargy and sent us directly to Dr. Shafai. Once there, the doctor determined that Gavin was dehydrated and wanted us to go directly to the hospital. So once again, we were readmitted, but this time to a different hospital, which proved to be much better! The nursing staff was wonderful and treated Gavin with love. I was sad to be back in the hospital again, but I wanted Gavin to be healthy more than anything.

Unfortunately, Matt needed to return to work, so he couldn't stay with me. However, my mom stayed with me in the hospital from morning until Matt got there after work. And I am so glad she did! I needed the love and support. Luckily, while we in the hospital, I was introduced to the most amazing lactation consultant ever. She was the only one to get Gavin to latch on. When he did, I cried tears of joy. It was so wonderful to finally know he was getting the nourishment he so desperately needed. Without her, I know he would not have latched on, and I am so grateful. Once the doctor determined that I was feeding Gavin regularly, he released us. We finally got to go home for good on Thursday, 11 days after Gavin's birth day, and it was such a relief to be home!

Gavin's First Week

I am proving not to be a very good blogger. My posts are so few and far between. However, I am going to work on posting more often. After Gavin was born, we remained in the hospital until Wednesday, when we were finally released. I couldn't wait to bring our baby home. We carefully dressed him in the little sport onesie and placed him the car seat. I sat in the backseat on the ride home and Matt drove slower than he's ever driven before. But it was so wonderful to be home!

The next day, on Thursday, everyone wanted to come and visit. We had quite a busy day! I found it difficult to breastfeed Gavin with so many visitors, since it was difficult to begin with and Gavin and I hadn't quite mastered how to latch him on while trying to conceal myself under a blanket. I began to realize how difficult breastfeeding was, especially with Gavin's cleft and I began to get nervous that maybe he wasn't eating enough.

On Friday, Gavin has his first appointment with his pediatrician, Dr. Shafai. When we arrived, the doctor determined that Gavin was jaundice and wanted us readmitted to the hospital immediately. That was one of the hardest days of my life. Seeing Gavin wearing just a diaper and laying under the bili light was difficult, but when they hooked him up an IV and put his tiny little arm in a split to keep the IV from coming out, I was a wreck. I couldn't stop crying. I don't think I could have gotten through it without Matt. He was my rock. As hard as it was for him, he stayed strong for both us. Each day, they would check his bilirubin level by drawing blood from his heel. That was awful for me also. I wished I could trade places with Gavin so he wouldn't have to go through all that.

During his stay, we also met with several lactation specialists. Unfortunately, Gavin was not eating well and none of them could get him to latch on. We even tried a bottle, a medicine dropper, and a spoon, but none of them seemed to be working well. I was nervous, but determined to get him to eat. We had to squeeze milk from the nipple on the bottle to get anything in his mouth. By Monday, his bilirubin level had dropped enough for us to go home. Once again, we were extremely relieved to be going home. But, our rough road wasn't over yet...

March 16, 2009 - Gavin's Birth Day!

Well, since my last post, much has changed! Gavin ended up turning back around at the last minute, so our c-section was going to be cancelled. But, about 3 a.m. on Monday, March 16, I woke up and just then my water broke! And it wasn't just trickling out like you see in the movies-it was gushing out! Matt and I frantically tried to get a bag packed so we could rush to the hospital. I knew that once my water broke it was only a matter of time before Gavin arrived. We called our parents on the way. Once we were checked in and in a delivery room the time dragged on. I was so anxious for Gavin to arrive, but I just wouldn't dilate. They finally ended up doing an amniocentesis, which is where they add water back into me because I was losing so much. My contractions ended up feeling so strong that I was in an enormous amount of pain, so I was given an epidural. Well, the epidural only worked on the left side of my body, so I was still in tremendous pain on the right. The epidural was eventually removed and another one was put in, which finally worked and I felt such relief. I was finally able to rest without feeling the contractions.

Well, finally about 7 p.m. that night, Gavin still hadn't arrived and my doctor decided that I had been in labor so long that he wanted to perform an emergency c-section. I was anxious, excited, and nervous all at the same time and I know Matt felt the same way. I was finally wheeled into the surgery room around 8 p.m. and by 8:56 p.m. Gavin was here! I could hear his little cry and tears filled my eyes. I was stuck behind a sheet so I could see him and I was just dying inside because I wanted to jump off the table and hold my baby in my arms! Matt got to go cut the cord and see him for the first time and he made sure to take a picture. Then, while they cleaned him up, Matt brought the camera over to me so I could see the picture. I cried again when I saw how beautiful he was! He looked absolutely perfect. When I finally got to see him, it was such an amazing feeling. I couldn't wait to hold him in my arms.


I had to be stitched up and then wheeled to a recovery room. I was so anxious to be with my baby that every minute in the cold, sterile recovery room was torture. I kept asking when I could see my baby, but they wouldn't let me leave until I could move my legs. My left leg was completely numb due to the two epidurals. I knew that it wouldn't move for awhile, so I mustered up every bit of strength in my body to move my right leg and show the nurses that I was okay. Luckily for me, they didn't ask me to move my left leg, too!

So I was finally wheeled into the postpartum room where I was joined by Matt and Gavin! I was so happy to finally hold him in my arms! It was so amazing! I marveled at how beautiful and precious he was. I wanted to spend a few moments alone with him before we had visitors, but our poor families had been waiting for almost 24 hours to see him, so many of them had to go home before they could see him. But I will always treasure those first few moments with him. And as I looked into his sweet eyes, I knew that life was about to change forever...

Matt with Gavin

Me with Gavin (looking awful and exhausted)

37 weeks, 3 days

Hooray! We have our c-section date! Gavin is scheduled to make his debut on March 19 at 2:00 p.m. We are so excited! I can't believe we are only 10 days away from holding him in our arms. I am just bummed that Matt can't stay the night in the hospital with me. I found out at our hospital tour last week that dads actually have visiting hours from 7:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. That means that while I am recovering from my surgery, I will be all alone to care for Gavin if he needs to be changed or fed or anything. That makes me a bit nervous. There is no nursery so he will be in the room with me all night. But I guess we'll work it out somehow. Oh, I just can't wait! Here is his adorable picture that the ultrasound tech gave me a few weeks ago. He is just so cute!

36 weeks, 5 days

At my non-stress test on Monday, they discovered that Gavin had turned breech over the weekend.  So yesterday we had our weekly OB appointment and, after speaking with the doctor, were told that Gavin would probably not be able to turn back around now since space was so limited.  Matt had been hoping for a c-section ever since the nurses at our childbirth class discussed it.  They described it as much easier, since it could be scheduled and over with in just under an hour.  They also said that it is not as traumatic on the baby.  Overall, they had many more pros than cons.  Matt thought it sounded like a great idea and was all for it.  I don't really care either way, as long as Gavin comes out healthy and happy.

So the doctor said that we should assume that Gavin will probably not turn around, so we should schedule a c-section for the week before his due date.  That was surprising news because it made it seem more real.  They are going to call me tomorrow to schedule a date.  Matt and I are both so anxious for Gavin to be here, but we can't really imagine what it will be like.  I dream of holding him in my arms and kissing his tiny little hands and feet.  I just can't wait!

I have been frantically trying to get all of his things washed and ready for his arrival.  We are going to try to get the car seat and other essential items prepared this weekend.  It looks like Gavin will be here the week of March 16!  Hooray!!

34 weeks, 1 day (Valentine's Day)

Today was a terrific Valentine's Day.  Although I consider every day with my wonderful husband to be a reason to celebrate, he made today extra special.  Matt woke me this morning with breakfast in bed.  He had cooked a delicious omelette and brought it to me with toast, orange juice, and two chocolate covered strawberries.  It was so good!  He also gave me a sweet hand-made card on which he drew a picture of the two of us (with my little stick figure pregnant, of course) with Bocephus.  I loved it!  I absolutely adore Matt and am so excited to be starting a family with him!

After breakfast, we decided to take Bocephus to the snow.  We drove up to Big Bear and had a great time!  Bo loved the snow and it was a fun day for the three of us.  Poor Bo is so tired now, though!  Running around in the snow must have taken a lot out of him.

Gavin's room is really starting to come together.  I finally got my glider rocker and we put it together last week.  It is so comfortable and will be great for those late-night feedings.  We still have a few small touches to add to the room before it's done.  Here are a few pictures I took of his room before the rocker was added.  The bedding is so cute!

33 weeks, 4 days

In just three days, I will be 34 weeks and that means that I will be just six weeks from Gavin's due date!  Matt and I are both so excited.  The anticipation is building in both of us as we think about holding our baby boy.  I believe this whole experience has made our marriage even stronger than it was before.  We grow more in love with one another with each passing day.  Matt has been the most wonderful and supportive husband throughout the pregnancy.  I know he is going to be a great father!

This past weekend, my wonderful and exceptionally talented sister- and brother-in-law did our maternity photo shoot.  Matt's brother, Jonathan, and his beautiful wife, Kristin, have begun a photography business as they are both very skilled photographers.  Kristin does the main photographing and Jon assists her by catching some great candid shots.  We had so much fun during the shoot, we laughed the whole time, mainly because Matt is quite the comedian.  There is never a dull moment with him, he keeps me laughing constantly, which is why I believe our marriage is so great.  I have posted some of the pictures from our photo shoot here.  I think they are beautiful; I am so pleased with the results.  (If you are as impressed as I was and are looking for a photographer, check out Kristin's web-site: www.kristinrogersphotography.com)

Thanks Jon and Kristin! We had a great time!